Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
