I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
