Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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