Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Let's get the cat blown out
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize