i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize