Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
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