there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize