I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
