do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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