i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think I sprained my soul last night
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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