I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
