I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
