my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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