Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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