We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
