i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
