I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
