you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
It's blow job season.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
