Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
