I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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