a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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