Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize