I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
