I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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