Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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