maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
