Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize