remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
