Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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