The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
