just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize