no, he came in my armpit
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
