Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
