Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
