i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.