the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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