How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
