i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
