So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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