Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize