You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
