i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
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