I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
