I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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