You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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