First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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