we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
