How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
