sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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