Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
