So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
