But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize