i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
