yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
