omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize