we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Please don't give away my fajitas
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
