I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
