i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
