the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Are my feet made of real feet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize