i may or may not be watching the land before time
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I fill condoms, not promises.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
